Really Closing this Chapter...

Well, after my lists post I never got around to posting anymore thoughts - I think I just threw myself back into US life so wholeheartedly this summer that my mind was honestly not on retrospectively blogging about Italy - I was really all here.

So I'm doing this now. It's a good time for it - I head back to school in a few days, summer is ending, and I'll be moving on even more from my time abroad.

As you can probably tell, the adjustment back to home was actually really easy. I've been really this summer spending time with family and friends, I've been lucky enough to go on some incredible vacations, and in between I've been planning my wedding and preparing for LSATs (recently anyway). Sometimes I wonder if it's a bad thing that adjusting back to home was so easy - that I could leave Italy in the past like that and be 100% happy to be here where I was. I think there were two aspects that made me feel uneasy about that - for one, when I was dreaming of my time abroad before I got to go, I think I fancied myself more independent than I found out I was. I'm an only child, I think of myself as being good at being alone and on my own. But I found out in some of my most difficult times last year that being abroad made me feel alone in a whole different way - one I would prefer to avoid in the future. Also, having such an easy adjustment made me wonder if I had failed at really digging into Italian life, if I had failed to somehow put myself out there enough.

But whenever I have these thoughts, I tend to banish them with a few other thoughts... In a very pragmatic sense, it is what it is - I can't go back and thus I can't have regrets. My experience was what it was and I did learn so many things about myself, about what's important to me, and about other people and other places. Also, I have to give myself a break. I was there for nine months and I didn't come home at all, not even once. That's a long time. And what's more, I had so much to come back to. I had a wonderful family, I had the love of my life/fiance who I hadn't seen in months, some amazingly special friends, and so many other blessings. Being away taught me to value all these things to an extent that I had never been able to before, so when I got home I really soaked it all up.

And on being alone/lonely - I realized that my late teens and early twenties have been largely characterized by being around people a lot - my roommates, my fiance and his family, and many other big groups. And with all the love in my life, maybe it's fair to say that I need my people, I relish their love and support and friendship. And you know what, that's okay. As long as I never take them for granted, I think I'm good.

But don't misconstrue what I'm saying - I wouldn't take this year back. I wanted to study abroad since I was in high school, and arranged my studies around that plan. It was an experience that appealed to me on so many levels - especially the aspect of learning and living in another language. As the year went on I realized I had to congratulate myself on having the strength to get myself out there and do it. So many people told me throughout the year that it was something they couldn't have done, or that they couldn't have done at my age (in the case of my father). I think at times I realized, and still do, that I had to not be so hard on myself about some things and just really see how far I had come in simple ways. And my Italian did get really good. It does make me proud.

I also wouldn't take back all the opportunities I had to travel. I know so many people want to go to the destinations I visited and never have the chance to go. I will always have fond memories of trips to London, Spain, and Zurich, plus the opportunity to travel all over Italy. These are life experiences that I'm so lucky to have under my belt at my young age, and I try to stay very aware of that.

Okay, so a few more lists are in order I think... first a list of my summer vacation(s). Yes, vacations, I'm so lucky.

1. New Jersey. I know it doesn't sound exotic, but I visited Dave while he was briefly shadowing an FBI agent who graduated from WP. Since he wasn't working all day, I was able to spend time with him when he was done with each day. It was the first time we got to see each other since January 3, and we reunited on June 7. I was so glad to be able to see him so soon after I arrived home. Clearly it made us both very happy!

2. Oregon. For the first time in three years, I got to go back to Ashland, Oregon for the Oregon Shakespeare Festival with my grandparents and a large group of their friends and extended friends. Ashland is an amazing little town surrounded by beautiful scenery, and the festival is so well run. It's a really special place to me because I went to OSF every summer from when I was 12 to when I was 18... and I finally got to go back this year. It was great. I even got to participate in our wine tasting outing since I'm now of age!

3. New Zealand and Samoa. Yes, I know! Crazy! Basically this trip's purpose was to be there for my mom's and my cousin Josie's wedding in Samoa. My mom's aunt is married to a Samoan man, and they live in American Samoa and raised their three children there. Josie is the middle child (in her late 20s) and had her wedding in July in Western (Independent) Samoa. Due to a flight deal, my mom got us flight tickets through Auckland, New Zealand, so clearly we had to spend a little time there. My mom and I had a blast exploring Auckland, then island hopping from one Samoa to the other and of course spending time with family. Samoa has so much scenery that is just quintessential paradise - including the resort where Josie got married. I'd also never been to Samoa but of course always knew my relatives were from there. It was great to be there for Josie's special day and have a wonderful vacation as well!

4. North Carolina. In early August I went along with Dave's extended family (mom's side) to the Outer Banks for a week to celebrate his grandparents' 50th anniversary! We were right near the beach, and had a ton of people - it was certainly exciting and fun! As bonus, they actually threw us a surprise engagement party in the middle of the week, so we have already started collecting wedding gifts - having a Kitchen Aid sitting in my room causes another "hey I'm really getting married" moment, I have to say!

In the past month I've been blessed to spend a lot of time with Dave. We were both home for a week (hasn't happened in a long time), then there was NC, and then we've seen each other at WP the past couple weekends. Now it seems that I'll probably see him tomorrow and Saturday too! I really love all these bonus visits, and of course I treasure (or try to treasure) all this time after going 4 and then 5 months without seeing him.

And one more list... I think I will call it things I'm going to do in the next year. Brace yourselves (I need to brace myself!)

1. Take the LSAT. Next month!
2. Apply to law school. Not long afterward!
3. Enjoy my senior year of college to the fullest. Treasure the small silly moments and the fun exciting moments with my four lovely roommates - and all my awesome friends at school.
4. Take two semesters of Arabic. I hope.
5. Get into law school. I hope.
6. Find out what branch of the Army Dave is going to be in (November) and find out what his first post is (February).
7. Graduate from college. I hope. ;-) (Don't worry Mom and Dad, it'll happen!)
8. Get married! No big deal, just major life events, that's all. By the way, that happens three weeks after graduation.
9. Honeymoon.
10. Move to a brand new place - quite possibly Georgia. With my husband... yes, husband.

And that's where I might well be in a year! I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it, and I will be planning for it, but I know I need to stop and smell the proverbial roses too. As excited as I am for next year, I'm really pumped for this year too, and I know it's going to be over way faster than it seems now.

Okay - I think this is quite enough rambling I've done. If you have still been checking this blog at all, I hope it brings you some closure. I think it has brought me some. :-)

Not sure when I will be out in the blogosphere next... I seem to have a habit of starting blogs and then waning off (see my posting frequency second semester), so I'll have to be committed to whatever the next one is. But it could happen, we'll see.

Thanks to you all for your comments and compliments and just generally sharing my year with me. I enjoyed writing on its own, but it was nice to know that I wasn't writing for no one.

I guess that's all! Molte grazie!